What To Do When Your Spouse Doesn't Want To Eat Healthy
You're eating healthier, but your spouse has no desire to join you and eat the same things as you. What should you do?
Although I do not have a spouse myself, I have worked with many people who have come across this roadblock. Here are the common themes that I hear when talking to my clients.
They don't want their spouse to suffer from future health problems by eating poorly. They care about them.
They don't want to cook two separate meals for each other.
They have trouble agreeing on places to eat out at.
They get made fun of occasionally for being the "healthy" one.
Their spouse can become a bit jealous.
Most of them then go on a convincing spree in order to try to get their spouse to change their eating habits, but to no avail.
So what do we do?
Well, first we need to take full and complete responsibility for our own behavior and then we need to let our spouses do the same.
A lot of times we really just want to change other people in order for us feel better. If you can really wrap your head around the fact that you are responsible for making you feel a certain way and not anyone else, then two things will happen. You will release a big monkey off of your back and your spouse may actually be more likely to change his/her habits.
Yes, by not trying to convince and persuade your spouse to change they may actually be more likely to do just that. Put yourself in their shoes. What if somebody was hounding you about changing a habit that you may not want to give up. It's annoying, isn't it?
What we need to do is take full ownership for our actions and let them take full ownership for theirs. Will all spouses change? No. Can you even make them? Nope. Show up for them, support them and if their open, talk about how eating better and moving a bit more has helped you... And then DETACH. Detach from the outcome. They are responsible for themselves. If this still bothers you that much then get curious about why that is.
To gain even more perspective, think about something that you love doing that your spouse doesn't. How would you want to be treated?